my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
