You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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