Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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