I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
