The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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