I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
