# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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