Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
