So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
