I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
