I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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