Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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