Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
