I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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