I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
