I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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