Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
