I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
