Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
