I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
