I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When did angry sex become our thing?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
