yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
