is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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