It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
