32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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