i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
