I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
