so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
vagina is talking i cant
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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