I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
