if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She is in my trunk
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
