I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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