next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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