Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
