Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
