something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
