I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
