Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
