Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
