This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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