Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
