i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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