were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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