Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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