Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
