fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
