I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
