How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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