i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
