My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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