she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize