what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
