She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
