I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
