it hurts more in the daytime
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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