The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
